Brain Freeze - A look into the Frozen 2 Soundtrack and my Psyche.

Back in November, when Frozen Two came out, I remember throwing rave reviews around about the soundtrack. I would make sure to let everyone know that I drove directly from the theater to Target to buy the c.d. (I have never done that before, so it made an impact.) For whatever reason, I remember my girlfriend's husband specifically mentioning his disdain for the music, and I have been out to prove him wrong ever since then.

Almost four months later, and I still think about writing a blog on the lyrics and message weekly. The truth is, so much "life" has happened in the past four months, that I wasn't read to relate on that level with the ones who read this blog. If you don't follow me on Social Media, you may not be aware of just how much music affects my life. It is in everything I do and where I learn and validate life's biggest lessons. The fact that a Children's movie could stir up such a response felt a little trauma-inducing. Yet, right now, is when I felt called to blog - so buckle in.

Without further ado, each song from the Frozen Two Soundtrack and a

deep dive into my current psyche:

Into The Unknown

"What do you want? 'Cause you've been keeping me awake. Are you here to distract me so I make a big mistake? Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be? Every day's a little harder as I feel your power grow. Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go into the unknown?"

Do you know that inner voice that's calling to Elsa? Well, that same inner voice was calling to me to get my plans and dreams in to gear. I fought it every step of the way too. I was delaying the process by not starting. It didn't matter if it was in my writing, my workout, my business plans, anything. I wasn't doing anything. I was spinning my wheels and staying internal, and it made me doubt myself. It made me not want to chase the dreams that were calling me into the literal, unknown.

Luckily, that inner voice or guide got loud enough for me to trust it. I can't say there was one single moment that led me to put utter faith into The Universe, more as it was a constant validation over a few years that finally made me trust-fall backward into my own possibility. I am currently operating out of this mindset, and it has transformed my life.

The unknown is terrifying if you allow it to be. But if you continue to suppress it, it will get louder and scarier. Make friends with the monsters and the scary things in your life. They are often just as harmless as you.

Lost In The Woods

"Oh, you're my only landmark, so I'm lost in the woods wondering if you still care But I'll wait for a sign that I'm on your path 'Cause you are mine. Until then, I'm lost in the woods"

When you are a Stay at Home Mom re-entering the work-force, you feel every emotion that ever existed. I think that's why a lot of us find it easier not to try or give our dreams a fair shot. I saw the self-doubt creep in when I started to figure out all the details of who was going to keep my family on track now that I was a "working woman." I overcompensated, burned out, and quit. I blamed my husband, I blamed my kids and then quickly realized that without them, none of this means anything. Yes, our family is a little lost right now. We are settling into our new normal, but one thing remains the same. They are my true North. They come first. All of this is secondary, and there have been signs after sign that we are on the right path.

Somethings Never Change

"The winds are restless, could that be why I'm hearing this call? Is something coming? I'm not sure I want things to change at all. These days are precious, can't let them slip away. I can't freeze this moment, but I can still go out and seize this day"

You can be a Mom and still live your dreams. Women do it all the time.

"Some things never change. Turn around in the time that's flown. Some things stay the same though the future remains unknown. May our good luck rest, may our past be past. Time's moving fast, it's true"

Get to work. Time and opportunity stop for no one. Make your kids proud. Make yourself proud. Get some sleep. Trust the timing.

"But if I commit and I go for it, I'll know what to say and do, right? Some things never change, Sven, the pressure is all on you"

I'm Sven in this situation. Press the Live button. Publish your Stories. What is meant to be will be, and you will know what to say and do. Trust the timing.

All Is Found

Where the north wind meets the sea There's a mother full of memory Come, my darling, homeward bound When all is lost, then all is found

You have to break it down to build it back up. Everything you have ever done has led you to this very moment, right now.

Show Yourself

"Every inch of me is trembling -But not from the cold. Something is familiar, like a dream I can reach but not quite hold. I can sense you there -Like a friend I've always known. I'm arriving And it feels like I am home. I have always been a fortress, Cold secrets deep inside. You have secrets, too, But you don't have to hide. Show yourself. I'm dying to meet you. Show yourself, It's your turn. Are you the one I've been looking for all of my life? Show yourself. I'm ready to learn"

Every part of me hates the way I look, talk, and sound. But I know my heart. My heart is why I am here. My heart is why I write, show up, and get super uncomfortable. My heart lets me see the good and messy in myself and, every time I show myself, I like who I see. All of the answers I've ever sought are inside me. I had to get to the point where, when I looked in the mirror, self-love, and self-respect were my reflection - not the way my face looked with dark circles and stretch marks. In my case, that took time, tears, hurt, and healing. I am still healing, and I think it is important to note that I will always be healing and learning, just like everyone else. For those of you (including my inner critic) who think my Ego is getting too big, it's quite the opposite - In fact, my not dulling my inner shine to make others comfortable is not the work of Ego at all. It is the hard work of someone who finally feels strong enough to show you who I am. I judged people who I thought had "Big Egos" myself. Let me hit you with a lesson: When you have those thoughts; it says more of how you feel about yourself then it ever could of the one you are judging. Don't be afraid to show yourself. You are literally dying to meet- you.

The Next Right Thing

"This grief has a gravity, it pulls me down. But a tiny voice whispers in my mind. You are lost, hope is gone. But you must go on and do the next right thing"

Hello, depression, and anxiety, I see you girls, you look good. Out in full force tonight. Seriously, why does the darkness show up right before a breakthrough? If you suffer from Mental Health as I do, do like Ana suggest, "Take a step, step again." Go for a walk. My best ideas happen when I sit with my thoughts. I attract the right people in my life who can help, and I can rise from the floor, start moving, and do the next right thing.

This is my favorite song on the soundtrack; it feels like every phone call I have with my Dad. He tells me to break it down to breaths, and it helps me more than most things. (Seriously, fix relationships with your parents if you have the opportunity. Read about #epigentics. Send me a message, I'll get you in touch with the right books to read and people to follow. )

When I'm Older

"This will all make sense when I am older. Someday I will see that this makes sense. One day, when I'm old and wise, I'll think back and realize that these were all completely normal events"

Let me start by saying this is the cutest song to hear your kids belt out from the backseat. Tiny voices singing big messages solidify that we never truly feel "old and wise" while we are growing. It is always after the lesson that we can look back and smile, knowing that we are precisely where we are supposed to be. I am doing my best to trust the timing in my life and to settle into the "normal events" that are shaping my life.

In closing, like Olaf so beautifully said, "I know in a couple years

These will seem like childish fears. So I know this isn't bad, it's good."

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Calla is a writer, mother of three, and host of Have The Conversation Podcast.  Her blog, art, and conversations are here for you as living proof that mistakes and the lessons they provide are all part of a bigger picture   Reach out! - She'd love to get to know you.

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