There I was, sitting outside on my patio, so caught up in my thoughts, trying to make sense of why I am so angry with how out of control life is right now, and I feel my phone vibrate on the table. I looked down, and the notification was from my business coach, mentor, and an excellent friend, Chad. He was checking in to see how last week went and if I made any progress on writing and editing. Ironically, at that same time, I was thinking about him and the homework I had yet to complete for Thursday. I was busy coming up with tall-tales of why I couldn't get it done and all the ways I could prolong the torture of his latest assignment. See the thing about Chad is he makes me talk about myself, and I can't stand it. I compared his coaching to a Quintin Tarantino film once when he asked me how I thought our sessions were going. You know it looks great, has great one-liners that transform your life and a whole lot of bloodshed.
So, this week, when asked to write down everything I do in a day, why was I having such a hard time?
I didn't want to get THAT REAL with myself. I knew in my heart of hearts that this meant I needed to sit with the not so pretty, "time sucks" I have in my life. I was happy, and I was thriving, I didn't need Chad bringing in these negative vibes. We are in a PANDEMIC, didn't he know better?
See earlier this morning, when I was sitting through a somber state of affairs in my mind, my husband was sitting in his makeshift office in our garage, awaiting the third round of layoffs. Like any partnership, I feed off of his energy in high-stress times and try to relieve him of any of it by assuring him that we will be okay despite what happens. That's a heavy burden for someone who can't even finish her homework and get's her feelings hurt when she doesn't feel heard, but alas, here I am making promises.
I responded to Chad's text by telling the truth. I told him it was a dumpster fire and that I hadn't done my homework. I told him that I was thinking of him - and he must have known.
God works in mysterious ways.
I smiled, tossed my phone to the side, and watched as my daughter spun around on the patio, crooning a made-up song, that's lyrics consisted of "It's going to be a beautiful day" over and over. I held back tears as I was reminded yet again of what is important and where my focus needs to be. We made our way inside, I obliged her fifteenth snack request of the morning, and I made my way into my office to get my word count in.
My partnership with Forward Partners - is very much a partnership, and it has been critical in my growth as a human being. I'm getting to the foundation of who I am and what drives me to make choices. I trust myself to know that no matter what happens, I will be okay and that if I want it too, it really can be a beautiful day.
The cool thing about this photo... The mug is from when I worked with Chad the first time 6 years ago and now I am a student of his yet again... and this time, it's for my business! God truly does work in mysterious ways. Stay partnered up with the people who love you and want you to win - that's the true key to success!