Hindsight really is 20/20.

Updated: Jan 5, 2020

You guys, I messed up my first email of the decade. Like, straight out of the gate, left half the document out and accidentally sent twice. I much prefer a blog to a newsletter I am finding out- because I can edit without emailing you guys forty-seven times! I battled with the idea of even sending a newsletter, but alas, my impulsivity got the better of me again, and I hit send. (I'm confident this will come up in Season Two of

Have The Conversation!)

I am so anxious to get back to work that sometimes I fall into old patterns of not being patient. Lately, I've come to appreciate the wonderous timing of my life. I feel confident declaring that my life experiences up to this point make sense - that choices I've made have molded me into how I think feel and present myself today. I like the person in the mirror, but just because I like her doesn't mean I give her a pass for having shitty habits. The more I love myself, the more I realize how messed up I really am! The only difference is now I want to work on the shitty parts and not make excuses for being human and messing up.

So, to acknowledge my impulsive behavior for what it is, I am going to cut right through to the heart of the matter and tell you why my impulsivity got the better of me and the lesson I learned, ready?

I wanted to work. It was 10 pm on New Year's Eve, and I had creative energy pulsing through my system. I thought if I somehow contacted you by midnight, it would make all the difference in the world to my relaunch of Have The Conversation podcast. I whipped together graphics and links and typed a letter from my heart, preparing you for the upcoming media overload that is about to be my life. In all my excitement, I rushed. I completely abandoned ship on my "plan" and ended up doing every perfectionist's worst nightmare: messing up.

That's right. I sent an unfinished, unedited, rough draft to my "subscribers." 🙄

The best most humbling part in the process was that not only did I rush and mess up the first email I sent, but I also rushed trying to fix the first email leading to another failed email. Oh yes, the Universe provided me with TWO failures in a row -ON NEW YEARS EVE! What a bitch.

I was so mad, you guys. I tossed and turned in bed after the second email sent, berating and doubting myself for even trying to chase this dream I have. I even tried to justify it through sarcasm in my Instagram stories! (Classic Calla move.) All of this over a second email mishap!

In hindsight, it is silly that something as familiar as a 'double email blast' would make me question my ability to build a brand in an instant - but the reality is, it did make me wonder. It made me wonder if I was capable of slowing down, controlling my impulses, and being patient in the timing of my vision of success. It also made me wonder if my impulsivity was, in fact, a good thing? Is that fear loathing rebel within the reason I can be brave and go for it, mistakes and all? Where was this girl in high-school?! I may never know the perfect way to do things, but here is what I do know:

I know that I am building a trustworthy brand. I believe in chasing this dream I have with my best friends beside me. I know that I am going to continue to strive to find a balance between plans and impulse. I know that I can be kind to myself in this process or give in to the doubt that plagues my mistakes. I am choosing kindness. I'm coming to terms that I need to accept that people subscribed to this because they want to hear from me. 🤔🤷‍♀️ That my mistakes and double emails will not make them unsubscribe or leave - but in the off chance that they do, it won't be my reason for not continuing to try. Know that it may take me forty-seven failed emails to get one good one, but I am going to keep going! I promise with every mistake I make; I will come back with a new approach and keep working until I get it right.

It's incredible what lessons we bring with us and continue to battle. Join me in making a conscious effort to learn from those things and not beat yourself up in the process. You're human. Keep Going. Keep Making Mistakes. Keep Creating.

Art from: Six Things

23 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Calla is a writer, mother of three, and host of Have The Conversation Podcast.  Her blog, art, and conversations are here for you as living proof that mistakes and the lessons they provide are all part of a bigger picture   Reach out! - She'd love to get to know you.

Listen to the latest episode 👇
Find out More

Powered by Three Birds Creative Co. 2019