This morning as I settled into my morning routine in my office, I set my coffee down, shook the mouse to activate my screen, and got comfy in my chair. I heard the ping of a notification followed by the drop-down that today was my Grandma's birthday. I didn't need the message to remember, but what a reminder it was.
This is my first year of not having a Grandma on her birthday. It will be the first year not having her on mine as well. Our birthdays are close, which always meant we would talk more with the transition from August to September. I miss her. I miss those conversations. I'm even going to miss the random check for $20 that would find its way to the mailbox every year. I never knew what to do with that money, so I often spent it on treats for the kids. Cookies usually, because that's one way I'll always remember her by. She made the best cookies, and she made sure we had them whenever we were together. She was such a good friend to me, a source of laughter and guidance, followed by un-shaking love.
We talked a lot about my family when we spoke - she always made sure to let me know how good of a Mom I was. I would share the dreams I saw for myself with her and the plans I was formulating to get there. She liked to remind me to slow down because she "didn't know how I did it all." It was the type of advice she gave but never took for herself.
I come from a very long line of ambitious, dedicated, fearless women who like to encourage and show up for the humans and causes important to them. I find myself wanting to enable you to rest even when I don't always practice that myself. Yet, I continue to tell of the importance because it is valuable, just like my Grams and I's relationship.
An important message I received after my Grandma's passing - was the importance of values. Thus far, my experience with death has been one of a deeper understanding of who that person was now that they are no longer here. It's been an insight into her choices and what drove her decisions at her core. Not being around for the entirety of Gram's life, I can't say I know everything, but the years I did have with her, I learned a lot.
Create a Sense of Belonging.
Be Bold and Creative with your words.
Find the humor in the challenge.
Make Cookies. Eat cookies.
Stay connected to your source.
Protect and Love Children.
Celebrate the Seasons.
Ask for Help.
Happy Birthday in Heaven, Grams. You are missed here immensely - but I sense you over me always.